Zoe is 10!

Here she is! My oldest child has entered double digits!!! I had hoped that I would have raising her figured out a bit better by now. Unfortunately, this child of mine continues to be my nemesis. She asks me to take her to Target or some kind of store almost every time she talks to me, even though the answer is almost always "NO". I'm pretty sure she has a future in film making because she spends a lot of time creating short films. DIY youtube videos occupy a lot of her time too. This summer has involved a lot of glue and paint. She likes to irritate her brothers and argue with her parents. Zoe is like a tornado that leaves a mess in her wake. Her room is like an episode of hoarders. If she could eat sugary food all of the time she would be content. I'm not talking sweets like cake and cookies. Marshmallows beat out brownies every time. I don't know where she came from. Zoe is defintely her own person. Despite some of her difficult qualities there exists a creative genius in that tiny body. She has a mind that I clearly don't understand and I certainly don't want to crush her spirit; although I fear I do just that everyday. She is one who is desperate to get what she desires but her happiness from having her desires met quickly dissipates as she is already thinking about what she wants next. Holidays are more fun when Zoe is around because her enthusiasm for them is infectious. Disneyland, wakeboarding, snowboarding, sledding, boogieboarding, and skate boarding are all apart of Zoe's to-do list. This little person keeps me on my toes daily. My goal is that she likes me by the time she's 19. Let's hope we both survive until then.

Spiderman Party II

The pack of Spiderman invitations are still sitting on my counter. Sad, I know. Luckily I have some pretty good friends that I just told or emailed. There was a handful of kids that came over for a what turned out to be a great party. There were kids running around laughing and playing so I consider the party a success. Jude actually enjoyed the bounce house better when there was just one friend left . Unlike his sister, I don't think he is use to all of the attention. There are days I'd love to just bottle up. I love you my little man, Jude-O, Booty, Budence Clearwater, Jude-O ben-oo-O,bubba gump, :)

Spiderman Party!!!!

Jude turned 3 years old. He has been a complete angel and a dream to have in our home. He is such a polite boy. He is an example to me. He tells his family he loves us several times a day. He loves cars, trains, Curious George, WowWow Wubbzy, and Spider man. He loves to play with his sister. He loves to laugh with his sister uncontrollably. Jude also loves chocolate milk.

Zoe turns 5 years old!!

Well, now I am the mother of a 5 year old. My little Zoe has turned 5 and will be starting kindergarden in less than a month. How did this day creep up on me? I was just getting used to the idea of having her in preschool (loving it, by the way). There is this weird reluctance however to let go of my little child and send her off to "the world" to survive without me ALL DAY! OK, I know this slightly dramatic. Zoe will actually love it. She gets so bored durning her brothers nap time, school will keep her busy. People say it all of the time, how fast it all goes. I'll take a breath or blink and next thing I know she'll be driving. This little girl for sure keeps me on my toes. She loves to push my limits. She loves to ask me for anything all day long. Zoe is very concerned with scheduling out the day. It's always,"mom what are we doing today? How about after that?" or ," Can we go to {so and so} house" She can bring out the best and worst in me. I'm still trying to figure out how to be a better mother for her. She loves her brothers!!! She is best buds with Jude. Watching them play together is one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. She also loves being a minnie mama to Kian. Her friends are also very important to her. She learned to ride her bike this summer with no training wheels. She has had a bike for 2 years I think and rarely rides it but one day she told Jamin that she wanted to try it without her training wheels. So, one evening is all it took and she did it! Zoe is also quite the swimmer. Last summer I couldn't even get her to put her face in the water and now she can actually swim which is a big relief to me. I love that she is a hard sleeper and will sleep 11 hours at night and sometimes even longer if her brother doesn't wake her up. She loves to sleep on the top bunk. She has her own room but chooses to sleep in her brothers so she can have the top bunk. I also think she thinks her brother will scare off any monster in the night. She loves to draw and paint. She loves Hello Kitty, Rupunzel,My little Pony, Barbie, and any other girlie thing. I love this little girl! Happy Birthday ZoZo.

newborn plus two

Hello blog, I do like you, it's just that I have been busy. I have been spending time with the popular more shallow kid at school called "Facebook". It is easy to be friends with him but he doesn't quite have the depth that you do so I return to you for something a little more than a one nightstand.

The emotional last month of pregnancy:

My little guy is here! His beginnings have been nothing short of an ordeal. When I was 36 weeks pregnant I went to fetal diagnostic(FD)s 2/wk where they checked the heart rate for 20 minutes and checked the amniotic fluid by ultrasound. This was all done because the umbilical cord had only 2 vessels(normal one has 3). There has been nothing to cause any alarm this whole pregnancy it's just standard for someone with this condition. Much to my shock, on the second visit to FD my babies heart rate dropped. At first, I thought the monitor had simply moved and wasn't reading it right, so I buzzed the nurse to let her know it had moved but after a second and third nurse came in and practically had me upside down(I'm not kidding) I knew something wasn't right. Five minutes later the heart rate was back to normal. My amniotic fluid was also 5.5. If it is below a 5 they would induce but at 36 weeks the best thing for the baby was to keep him me for a bit longer. The doctor at FD wanted to monitor the heart rate overnight to make sure it wasn't dropping regularly so I spent the night in the hospital with an IV pumping fluid in me. I didn't even know that would help. I guess I wasn't drinking enough water for how active I was. I was freaked out and so was Jamin. We didn't know what to think. If the heart rate dropped again and was a problem the only option would be emergency C-section. Luckily the heart rate was fine all night and I got to go home but was put on strict bed rest. My doctor told me to drink as much water as I could and just get up to walk to the bathroom. Do they not know I have 2 kids? My nieces and my mom came and helped me with my kids. Doing nothing for 2 weeks got my fluids up to 15 and the hear rate was fine so I took myself off of bed rest. My kids were at my mom's in Bakersfield so I just had 5 days of "me" time. It was AWESOME! Jamin and I went out to dinner and to the movies. I sewed a car seat cover and basically de-stressed.


The delivery:
Of course my due date came and still no baby. If the last month hadn't happened I might not have been so annoyed. All of my kids are late and I really wanted to go into labor on my own but everyday he wasn't born was stressful. I just wanted him here healthy, safe in my arms. So, that was the 10th of April and on the 12th I went to FD knowing my fluids would probably be too low. How else am I going to go into labor if I don't walk around Disneyland and the mall and wherever else I can? I was right. The nurse doing my ultrasound didn't say anything at first but then said my fluids were 4.3 but would get a second nurse to see if she could find more and she did. It was 5.1 or 5.4. I can't remember but it was good enough for them. They were relieved(I wasn't) and told me to go home. That was like 9 am. At home, I decide that I going to give my baby and me positive labor thoughts by packing for the hospital. I have been semi-packed since the first hospitalization incidence but this time I packed it all. Around 11;30am the nurse called me and told me the doctor thought the fluids were too low and that I should get induced and to head over. Yes!! That is what I wanted to hear. I love this part! I love going to the hospital to have a baby. It might sound weird but the whole experience amazes me. My sister Dana came over and watched my kids till my mom arrived and I headed to the hospital when Jamin got home. It was probably 2pm. I was hooked up around 3pm and then the wait began. Jamin busted out the baby name book. Once again we had no name. I was dilated at 2/3 on arrival then around 7 only3/4. an hour or so later the nurse wants to stick something up inside me to get an accurate heart rate of the baby. She had turned the monitor so I couldn't see it anymore which I didn't understand why until later. Got epideral around 7:30. About 10pm I finally started to feel the pressure. An hour later the nurse is like,"don't push let me get the doctor" My doctor had pulled an all nighter the night before so wasn't there. Luckily the doctor on call was Dr. Braithwate(sp?) an outstanding OB who was in my sister's ward. When he came in he told me not to push either. No mirror was provided but he said that I was getting an epeziotomy right away b/c we needed to get the baby out very calmly. A beautiful baby boy was shortly after placed on my chest. I was in love and I had never seen a more beautiful newborn. The doctor said he had cut the cord already because it had been rapped around the baby's neck. OK that explained a lot!! Well all seemed well. I was so happy to have my baby finally here delivered vaginally without problems.

12 hours later
Names narrowed down to a combo of 6 names or so. He also has a huge cyst on his bellybutton my pediatrician wants a surgeon to look at. that's right, my newborn baby was transferred to children's hospital not even a day old and I was released from the hospital to follow him. I was no longer a patient with nurses to wait on me or take my baby so I could sleep but I through my maternity clothes on and hopped in an ambulance with my newborn. Worst day ever! The NICU was not a place for parents. There was a hard chair to sit on next to this tiny bed in a room with 8 other babies. All that was accomplished was an ultrasound was performed but couldn't be read until the morning. There was no place to sleep and having no sleep the night before went home for the night and slept and cried. I was so hung up on the hospital experience I didn't get to have. My kids didn't get to come the hospital and meet their new brother the way I had imagined it. The ultrasound proved to be nothing immediately serious but the nurse told the doctor that the baby wasn't eating well and my milk hadn't come in yet. I almost lost it on this lady. I did protest in an adult way however. I have done this two times before and my milk doesn't come in until the night I come home from the hospital. Lady, I do have an idea of what I'm doing!! I told the doctor this. What? They can't keep my baby, I was about to get up and walk out with my child and flip'em all off as I left. I just had a baby people! Stitches are new. Think of the big picture here. The doctor team(it was a team just like on Grey's Anatomy) listened to me and released Kian.


Choosing a name
While we were still at Hoag(my sanctuary) i stared at my new little baby and knowing that we would be separated for a time I thought he needed a name. I couldn't just leave him in the arms of all of these nurses as "Baby Duncan". Jamin kept throwing names out he knew I didn't even like. Zephyr and Milo to be exact. Fine names for other babies maybe but I wasn't feeling'em.
He seriously could have chosen any of the six names on our list but nothing was coming to him. So I chose Kian Cooper Duncan. The nurses at CHOC immediately called him by his name and I liked how it sounded. Jamin still wasn't sold, not sure why but he later went back to Hoag to fill out the birth certificate and changed his middle name to "Nash". When Jamin came back to CHOC from Hoag we were finally released to go home with our baby Kian Nash Duncan. I was relieved! My mom, Zoe and Jude greeted us when we got home. I don't even know how to describe the feeling other than, "my cup runneth over". I felt truly grateful for my little family.

Jude's first haircut

My little guy turned 2 in October! My how time flies. Jude got his first haircut last Saturday. He got to watch Jamin go first which we thought was a good prep. He was not excited about getting his haircut although he had been asking if he could cut his hair at home. After being handed a toy to play with he stopped crying and did pretty good. A little milestone and proud mama moment for me. I couldn't be luckier to have this amazing boy as my son. He is the sweetest guy. He says "No thank you" and asks nicely for things. He and his sister play great together but he is also content playing by himself. He gives great hugs and will just sit on my lap and watch a show with me if I want to rest without moving a muscle. At around 18 months he finally decided to talk and when he did he realized he knew english fluently. At 2 he decided he wanted to use the potty and now wears, "undies". I wish I could take credit for this amazing kid but he seriously just came that way. We love you Jude!

Skiing

The day after Christmas Jamin took the kids skiing for the first time. Even little Jude went down one run. Zoe was the real champ. She did awesome! I was surprised to see how tough she was and didn't want to stop for a long time. Jude tried to put Zoe's skis on when they stopped for a potty break so we thought "why not". He did OK considering he's only two. The kids both loved playing in the snow and even made some snow angels.